What should have been one surgery, turned into 20+ failed surgeries and a life that was once filled with joy & happiness was transformed into the one that is now filled with pain & despair. Today, not a day goes by when I ask myself, if this life that is filled with never ending pain is even worth living? & wouldn't death be so much more peaceful & comforting? I use to have lots of dreams, however right now even the thought of being able to smile, being able to sleep for few hours or even trying to enjoy the food that I eat, appears to be a dream that might never come true.
I cannot undo time or erase this experience from my memory, however I can at least try to do all that I am able to, to make sure that no one else is made to suffer anything remotely similar - as the years I have lost will never come back & the scars that I have received, will last forever. This pain is something I would not want anyone to have to suffer - not even angelo cuzalina.
From day one this fight has been an up-hill battle. However, the support & encouragement that I have received from everyone - has given me lot of courage & hope. As I no longer feel that I am alone - and I no longer feel that I have to fight this battle on my own. The kind words & support from everyone keeps proving my point - that for every 1 person who harms you, there are always 10,000 (actually more) wonderful people out there who are good, loving & honest.
I understand that my life may have been ruined & my dreams may have been shattered, however, this pain has given rise to another desire & a new ambition. I will use my experience & knowledge, in efforts to make sure that no one else is made to experience this pain. As many times I have asked myself - what if someone else had done what I am doing? then perhaps my life would have been spared. Though it might be too late for me, I hope that the information on this site ends up saving someone else's life & saving them from the pain, which has devoured all the hope, dreams & happiness out of my life.
If I can save even one person from similar fate, then I will consider that as a silver lining of my pain!